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God bless sem 1
Monday, November 23, 2009

I can see the end coming. Yes. Tomorrow is my last paper for sem 1 in NUS! Sem one is quite a good kick start for me. I still remembering coming in aiming high for cap 5, and keep praying to God that my motivation will be him instead of cap 5. I dint really totally understand what does it mean to study for jesus.

There can be many motivations in study, be it meeting expectations, competitiveness, personal pride... ... One day, my prayer was answered and I still one to thank God for it. It all started out when i fail one of my mid terms. And it is the first result that i got back in my history in NUS. I FAIL! For two days i cried and for a moment wanting to give up.

Looking back, I really want to thank god for the first failure. It is then I start to humble myself and set my attitudes right for studying. It is an endless cycle if i try to meet up with expectations and even when i meet it, I may not be truly happy about it. Speaking of crying, I cried because i am afraid i let my mum down who has spent a bomb in my studies and i am really thankful for this chance as I am not financially well off. Never in my life have i told my mum about my failures as I am fearful of her reaction.

One day, I told her about it. And to my amazement, she told me not to give myself too much stress. I am really shocked and i realise that all along I have been chasing after unnecessary expectations.

Back to right now, good grades are just a bonous to me. Love the lord with all your mind, your heart, your soul and your strength. Loving god and honouring him in what I do means giving in my best. Key is: my best. Four papers have passed and i asked myself have i give my best shot. I know i have and i have the joy in me when i finish the exam though there are quite a few qn I still did not get it and people around me got it. This is the difference. Give god my best shot and leave the rest in his hands and giving thanks in every situation.

And....................................... CANT WAIT FOR TOMORROW TO COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

writtern @8:59 PM