SMILE ت

three days

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

MY.. just realised it has been THREE days since i last blog! Haha guess this three days is quite peaceful for me(:

Just trying to pick up mugging stamina which i think my memory is failing on me these few days since i took super super longggg to memorise something! Haix. Everything went well except a bomb which dawned upon me on mon which is a project poster i have to submit the next day is in A1 format and i couldnt crack my brain any further to fill up the poster! In the end it is just like playing jigsaw, finding the best space filling combinations- which was really not very fun and entertaining haha.

Totally likes my biochemistry lecture who will crack some really really cold jokes like some sort of " commercial" break in between the lectures. Haha the amazing thing is i can tell the jokes almost word for word to my other frens after class, but dub remember what he taught during lecture- whats wrong with my brain!!!!

Following today is my hall KE night. It was a carnival style and i really enjoyed alot and tough random carnival games, i realise i have some hidden talent in bowling! Haha. Really enjoyed this last few events with my close frens in hall(: My face was like RED all thankx to very wonderful floorball captain joel who never fail to get dirty stuff on my face- this is the second time and both times he caught me surprise. Some expert huh!

Now just hope i can concentrate on my math and update more news on my blog! Haha cuz if i procrastinate in typing down my thoughts, chances are i will forget all the tiny details that will make things more interesting!

writtern @10:21 AM

warming up

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Ever since slacking from last friday, which is vvvv bad and unhealthy, i finally warm up the lazy cells in me to start doing some work!

Did a poster design for one of my module project fair and realise I am still not too bad in using Photoshop Indesign all thankx to KE press design kelvin and zhuangli who taught me how to use last sem.

Did a drawing for good friday. Basically, my door in hall is like an exhibition of my artwork which expresses myself. This would be my fourth work(:

Allow me to do a lil explanation. The main point of this piece is the nail, which contary to most good friday artworks is the cross. The nail is slightly bent, symbolising the shame Jesus have to went through on the cross. Next up is the tangeled up mesh with words: PRIDE, COMFORT, INTEREST, FAME and POWER. This symbolises the struggles which Jesus went through as he is fully human like us, yet in the end choose death on the cross and thus the earthquake lines in the drawing. Underneath the quake is coloured yellow with the words" love. life". Yellow, just like light is hope and it is because of christ love that we have eternal life.

Followup on last post, my sadness sets in at 2am plus. I really really need a listening ear that time and of all my close frens only Jason is online so chatted awhile. This morning when i woke up, discus cell members start commenting on my facebook. Felt really loved and i know they are the ones who will stand by be through thick and thin. Awww is perhaps the only word if you want me to verbalise my emotions right now ^^

So, back to mugging!

writtern @6:18 AM

roller coster day

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Today has been quite a roller coaster day of emotions for me.

First, it start off with my church service in the afternoon. Really learnt a lot from sermon today and some of my doubts which i had are answered too. There are many times when helping others, made me felt burdened. Treating others well, yet not recognise. I began to feel like my father in heaven do not take into account my feelings and that my life is just a tool of his, he just did not love me so much which i once believed.

"My God, my god, why have you forsaken me? " Matthew 27:46 Jesus cried out to the lord about the ninth hour of the cruxification. This verse first strike me on good friday last year, and recently too. Jesus, who was without sin, but bear the sins of the world have to go though separation from god at the cross. It is very painful, not just physically, but emotionally too. But does that mean the father no longer love him nor care for him? NO.

I was reminded once again that love is obedience and is God who i can trust. For the wages of sin is death, God save me from eternal death by sending his one and only son to die for my sins on the cross. The most cruel and humilating way to die. I was quite stupid to think that my father is very self centered and now i just want to be in awe with him.

Next up today is... shooting club dinner! Went to bedok botak jones and ordered fish and chip with my favourite side- double baked cheese potato! Of course food is not the MAIN point of gathering, but to celebrate a belated birthday for wen fong. Kudos to him who drove each of us back- yes, despite need-ing to take ferry to tekong early morning tml and by the time he drove us is alr 12am plus (:

My day could have been quite fufiling IF it ends here, but not when i reached home. Upon reaching home, i realised that my dearest neighbour is running for vice president for my hall! - dun misunderstood me here. I am actually carrying mixed feelings here. First is i am totally in the dark that she is gonna to be vice president. Secondly, i am really lost of words to descibe my emotions here.

Besides that, what hit me the most is having to end my day with a passion lost. Yes. Psychoing myself that its ok, i am fine, but my stubborn heart refuse to give in to my brain. You may wonder "wadssup?" I receive an email on the interview results for a cambodia trip organised by my sch first aid society. I am not selected. I am NOT selected. I AM NOT SELECTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It may be- huh? big deal. But its a VERY big deal to me. All along i really want to go overseas for some first aid basis. Though my church also organise mission trips to Cambodia, but it is quite different. It is one of the rare cases when i actually went on to apply and realise my dream. For most of the time i am quite passive in pursuing what i really really want. And POP, goes my heart.

Originally looking very forward to holidays towards the trip, being excited for weeks, whole schedule place aside for it and.. really lost now.. dejected.. empty.. walking zombie without hope. The feeling is really bad. Shall sleep and.. better tml? Maybe. Hopelly ..

writtern @10:20 AM

People that made my life(:

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Its a photo blog! Enjoy(:

Category 1: family members ad the saying goes families are the buildng blocks of the society(:

Featuring my sis who is cam shy behind!

My adorable niece!

My cousin and I

Dun have any family photos, but that does not mean my family is unimportant to me!

Category 2: Friends before University

Sec school friends! And clara i really appreciate you taking this photo with us!

TPC shooting club!

Not forgetting of course little misses!

Like to mention here all my frens from gonshang primary school, ngee ann secondary concert band and TPJC 07S07!

Category 3: NUS!

CVCF for kickstarting my life in NUS! picture is quite small cuz resolution not very good:(

XQRJ! All the tears and sweat that we went through

K.E floorball

K.E VCF and a bunch of really awesome seniors!

Fantastic group of frens! Always rmb the fun and laughter and tears we went through together though we face different problems(:

Need to mention here xiao long baos and my dearest life science lecture group buddies!

Category 4: Not the end yet! Still have people from all saints church! Been a part of my life since 8 years old(:

Featuring NANO cell! "Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." 1Tim 4:12

DISCUS cell ^^

Last but not least, my best sister MS YIRAN!

Special thankx to all who went through life with me throughout these years!

writtern @10:41 PM

TA DA!

Ta da! MY BLOG HAS A NEW SKIN!!!!!!!

Very excited to be starting afresh as this blog has been going some ups and downs. First sight, this skin to me is eeeee so girly! But no choice, it is the only skin that i can successfully load up. Nonetheless, it still looks pretty good with warm colours, and yes, lots of smile.

Looking through past entries, my entries went from happy posts to sad posts, and sometimes i even pondered " when is the time when i lost my smile?" So, i guess this skin comes with a good reminder to perk me up and find back my old self! Plus, i want to bring joy to people who read my blog after a looonnnnggg day!

Looking forward to this saturday as dearest shooting frens and going out to celebrate wen fong's birthday! YES, this time is initiated by ME the one who always pon gatherings. haha and i chose the exact place we went last year for celebration as i am one who likes to cherish the past(: bedok botak jones, get readyy to earn some big bucks!

Finally, i will like to acknowledge lil miss iso who always never fail to make me laugh, most recently just a few minutes ago laugh at me that only food will lure me into the conversation. Haha thats all and i hope i can continue to sustain the activeness of this blog! - it is not very active to begin with anyways =\

writtern @9:25 AM

i am not ok

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Its ok if i am look down on.
Its ok if people treat my dreams as a joke.
Its ok if my efforts are not recognise.
Its ok if i am being left behind.
Its really ok.

The truth is i am NOT ok.

writtern @9:12 AM

empty case

Thursday, March 18, 2010

I don't know if this applies to anyone but to me, its just v scary that I do not know where i am heading to. Totally clueless. Hate that feeling, it just fells like i am passing day by day blindly. So if anyone read this and want to help me, please pray for me.

thank you(:

writtern @10:40 AM