a simple girl

2010-09-29T10:59:00.000-07:00

You Are a Granny Smith Apple

You are sweet, but you aren't overly sweet. You let your tart side show through sometimes.

You can be a bit uncompromising and high maintenance. You know what you want, and you're going to get it.

You are durable and sturdy. You have both a lot of physical and mental strength.

No matter what, you don't lose your edge. After all these years, you still give people a bit of a shock.

What Kind of Apple Are You?

Blogthings: Take a Quiz. Annoy Your Friends.

duno

2010-08-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

Duno who still reads this pretty dull blog, but nevermind i see it more as my personal record of life(:

. been sick the whole of last week but thankx to my thursday free day, it really helped me to recover much faster!

. met up wth clara last sun and she say i changed! In terms of crazy ways in the past. When I went saw my cvcf senior in sch this sem since we met last year, she say I kind of looked different too- Like i have grown in this past year. Yes. Staying in hall really caused me to grow quite a lot, so hey I can have a mature side too! Apart from still being able to carry off as a teenager when i wear my secondary school uniform.

. Felt kind of defeated from two incidences lately. Well if you are really that kaypo to find out what these two incidences are, can just ask me directly and can encourage me too(:

.Went ubin today. I KEEP GETTING INSECTS BITE THOUGH I SPRAYED/SOAKED MYSELF IN REPELLENT!!! I may appear to be some spoilt kid, paranoid when I got bitten but there is a history behind it. I used to love nature when young. Ever since I got dangue fever which is a v horrible experience, I really hated insects. Once bitten, twice shy- probably some truth in this saying.

Though it was scorching hot, skin sticky from all the repellents, duno-what-insects are trapped in your hair, need produce a report within five days regarding all birds you spot in this trip, at least there is ONE GOOD ending.

When leaving the jetty, a guy pointed to the sky and there it is- amazing view of a ring of rainbow around the sun. Smply spectecular- more spectecular than any birds i saw in Ubin. This rainbow ring is the FIRST in twenty years for me. Really reminded me of God's rainbow promise. Plus saturday is my SABBATH day, I felt really encouraged by God's presence admist of all the not so wow morning I had (:

justafeeling

2010-08-21T08:31:00.000-07:00

Woke up this morning feeling really refreshed. It is my sabbath day! For those who do not understand what is sabbath, its sort of like a day in a week which the bible says one should rest, and reconnect with God. Saturday is my sabbath day(:

Last night, I dint have v good sleep. Since secondary school, I really fear darkness at night when i sleep for sometimes nightmares will haunt me and horror scenes will came accross my mind when I closed my eyes. Last night, I woke up suddenly in the middle of the night and felt really uncomfortable and a little panicky.

That is in the midde of my sleep. But before the sudden wake up and panic attack, I had a dream. It is about one of my non-christian friend and I will not elaborate my dream here.

Afternoon, I went to church. Standing in his sanctuary, I have a sudden sad feeling. I look around me, and they are people who came church and we bonded as a family of christ. Then, I thought of my close friends. God has always place me in cliques when I the only christian among a group of them. I really love all of them and start to picture a day when will walk with all my close frens and we say lets go to church! There is really a deep desire inside me for this day to come true, and perhaps my greatest wish.

Iso, be bees, taitai, candy, albert, mk, wf, xiao ming, ter ter, lizzard, dodo, clara, jas, eunice I love you all and my birthday wish every year will only be one (:

My little canto adventure

2010-08-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

Let me share my canto dictionary so far!
- nei ho, sek fan mei?
- nei hai ngor pang yao, koi hai ngor pang yao
-meh si?
-dim gai?
-ngor ooi sheong qi sor
-nei yao mo cheong leong?
-ji ci nei!
-man man keng
- ngor mmmm ji doh
- zou can, yam char
- dor zeh
-ngor tim wa hong ma gao yat mm yi seh lok yi sam
-ho yeet
-ga zeh, ah ma, ngor oi fan gao
- zou tao!

zoi kin everyone! ^^

geek

2010-07-29T07:30:00.000-07:00

YEA! SCHOOL IS STARTING!!!!!! (:(:

There is always this geeky-ness in me. I realy like school. Since young, I always have trouble sleeping the night before school reopen simply because I am very excited. For non-school lovers, you will probably roll your eyes or DUH at this entry hehe.

I entered into 2010 unprepared, busy with cca stuff and have no time to rest and reflective upon 2009. These three moths of break really works wonders for me. Three months sounds longggg but 12 weeks sounds short ( quite amazing huh).

And in these 12 weeks, I have accomplished quite alot. Went Batam, serving in progams for student camp, going genting with friends, turned 20, landed myself in 6 random ad hoc jobs. Its really wonderful experience and a school break like no other.

I MISS SCHOOL!

not so amazing week

2010-07-27T22:33:00.000-07:00

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Prov 17:22

Been having a not so amazing week so far. The weather is fantastic for sleep! A lil perk for the not-so-amazing-ness.

Sitting in library now, hungry and tired. Just want a little space away from home. My desktop at home is malfunctioning and there's no way i can fix it. Since mum is the only user of that com, she start throwing temper yesterday. I can understand her fraustration so i did not speak a word when she start to vent it on me.

Not so fantastic this morning too when I just woke up. I admit I am not in a fabulous cherry mood this morning so probably I irritate her a lil. Things snowballed and I really cannot take it just sitting there silently and listen to her reprimanding me.

Its always a sore when it comes to my relationship with mum. Tears will just flow out uncontrollably when I think about it even now, I must have look dumb keep wiping my face in the library.

To me, mum is more of a figure of fear than a figure of love to me. When i read past jornals dated back in primary sch, everything I do I thought of my mum. Getting back results, loosing stuff and even when I fall down my tears is more of being afraid to tell her. God created and love mum, and I have to respect her.

I love mum not only because God love her but also I know she loved me. But there's this prick inside me that perhaps I am not so willing to remove yet. When facing mum, there is like this "natural reflex" in me that I will feel irritated, which makes me feel v guilty. Its kind of weird that when I am nice to her and she gets v touchy, I will get irritated by her touchy-ness and went back toignoring her.

This is perhaps a lesson of love I have to learn throughout my life and I really felt better when typing this paragraph. For the verse at the start of this entry, is what i saw on facebook this morning which really encouraged me. A cheerful heart vs a crushed spirit. I have decided to let the past keave me, no old scores or self pitiness for all these are pointless. Forgive and move on, knowing that there are many beautiful promises ahead (:

july

2010-07-16T01:36:00.000-07:00

Not been blogging for a long time sure gets laziness setting in! Too many things happened within these few weeks that i do not know where to begin from.

Its the month of July, and i reached 20 years old!! Quite an akward age and really blessed to receive birthday messages from those i really loved- including vi clique, shooting frens, jc frens, secondary school clique, two primary sch pals and my lovely hall buddies (: Its nothing much actually, spent the whole day at home, cooking noodles for myself for dinner. Was chatting with one of my good fren Albert on msn that night and we are discussing about big 21 next year.

I said that it will be a once- in-a-lifetime day. And he said sth that really impressed and spoke directly to me. This is what he said " everyday is a once-in-a-lifetime day". He may said it as a joke, or may not feel much about it, but it hit me. Many of us have regarded major events in our lives as once-in-a-lifetime such as A levels, 21 birthday, day of marriage, first time you tried sth wild etc but what we hardly realise is that everday itself is important and can never be chased back again.

Skip over my genting trip till yest, midnight, I received news that my shooting club senior in jc had passed away from a car accident. It really striked me once again. Till now there are still tons of things i witheld from doing. People i failed to cherish. But who knows time may be running up for me and I don't know.

One thing that learnt in this month is that there are good points in everyone of us which is admirable and sth that one can learn from. It may be masked by some flaws, but in times of doubt, I will choose to believe in the good in everyone (:

2010-06-29T04:24:00.000-07:00

I am just procrstinating and it is v bad. Don'y know why there is this lazy bug staying in me.

But one thing that i did not procrastinate so far is jogging. Been sticking to the timetable i drew out so far and just start running 5km! And it comes with a little price-purple second toe. Cant imagine what will happen during 42km.

Recently somethings just went through my mind and it seems like God is not answering my questions (though i know he will but just some insecurities in me). There was this day when I am really really sad and I have to go out. I prayed that bus 37 will come- I have this peference for the number 37 and yes it did. For a moment, I was reminded again that God knows everything I have been through and he has his reasons why certain issues I had seemed unanswered. It may seem quite trivial, the part on bus 37- some people may prefer to call it coincidence but I am going to come back to it again.

Monday, I was woken up at 6 sth am by my sis pulling my leg. She told me that our hamster HAPPY that had been with us for two years was dead. I did not cry, but just not used to it. I was with my sis the whole process of packing happy into a nice box and its disposal. I was sad seeing my sis kept crying and packing some of happy favourite food into the box too. Though happy always did not allow us to touch him and will bite us when we did, he still have his adorable moments.

Suppose to meet my frens for a jog 8am that very morning happy pass away. Its quite emmotional and this time too, I prayed for bus 37 and it came. Just comforted once again and know that when God said in the bible he will never forsake me- he really meant it.

Thats what I have been through so far during my last week of TEENAGE life. FYI, my house bus stop has alot of services, 8 of them in total.

father's day

2010-06-21T09:13:00.000-07:00

I want to celebrate father's day just like everyone else who has a dad. Dint my dad knows? Where is the dad who used to piggy back me when i struggled to wake up, the dad who always cooks for me when i am starving, who always defend me from being caned.

Business and ambition is important, but family is not a last pirority and family members aren't people whom you met only once a year.

Dint have my family celebrating my birthday since i was 12 years old and that hurts.

- Suuden outburst from heartwarming pics of father's day on fren facebook-

Moving on

2010-06-21T00:20:00.000-07:00

I Love to look at photos on facebook- nt that i am some stalker, but it shows how much people have moved on. And also how much have i gone through. Moving on is never easy, but a must. Its part of one's maturing process and knowing that we can never have full control over our lives.

Still have some aftermath from leaving hall. Felt quite disconnected from my frens whom i spend almost everyday with for the past 9 mths. But looking at photos on fb i am glad all my frens are moving on pretty well and its time for me to move on as well in a direction different from theirs.

Thank God for the fact that i am not working today or tomorrow and that my mum has went malaysia so i am home alone. Always been praying for a day when i could really sit down and reflect and ta da! This is the day(:

There are still some issues that i need to resolve and some feelings to warp up before moving on to my new semester which i am egearly anticipating! Perhaps embarking on a genting trip two weeks later with my frens from shooting club is a mini getaway for me. P.S it will be my very FIRST time riding on a roller coaster!

I shall continue to enjoy my time alone for the rest of today(:

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2010-06-18T08:28:00.000-07:00

Welcome to uniqlo! thats my 24 hr job last two days- except that i am a packer in the storeroom so no need to greet haha.

Just a random post. Deep inside me when i really quiten down to think, i feel so lost. I dun know why i seem to keep chasing jobs after jobs after jobs. When i di nothing, my mind wanders away. When i am busy, i questioned myself.

I really don't know what am i doing, why am i doing some things and what i really want. More often than not, things that i want cannot be accomplised based on circumstances which make me vulnerable again. Its a cyle.

Lost. You may feel lost reading this post thats cuz i am lost too.

My many roles

2010-06-07T07:49:00.000-07:00

I have been a:

-customer server
-waitress
-flyer giver
-game stall tender
-relief "teacher"

haha cool eh? Always on the go doing things, I kind of has satisfaction completing tasks that are on my hands. But it is not very enjoyable when you need to complete task for others. A helping hand, some call it. Almost everyone needs a helping hand at some moments- totally understandable.

But once helping hand become free as and when taken for garanted labour, it become not very nice. Acknowledgement is imporatant to a certain extent. A simple thank you(sincerely) can make up the day of someone who is helping you.

I often reflect if i have taken anyone for garanted in my life because i really detest the feeling for being made used of. Guess i have been bottling up this feeling for quite long so nowadays i am more sensitive to it. Little things will trigger my anger and i kind of felt bad about it.

There are moments when i really want to have some time for myself, but seeing other very stress up, i felt kind of compelled to help up. I always give myself a mental note that my help may not be appreciated and i am not asking for acknowledgement. But i am really struggling in the sense that once help, you will always be the first one to be approached agin and again and again, till a point of taken garanted for. Once a new party comes to offer a hand, all appreciation and gratitude goes to the new hand but what happens to the old? Is it too much for me to even ask for some acknowledgement? Should i tell myself every single second that its ok if my help is being ignored? I am really not feeling ok after being ignored everytime. Hardwork in silence for too long is a morale killer.

For people who always ask others for help- make a point to thank the person, sincerely not just for formality sake. Here i will like to mention someone who i have a new respect for recently. Her name is yunzhen (: She is one who also always consider others first before her and i really respect and admire her for that. Its nt just when she feels like it, but everytime. A lesson which i am learning now cuz always putting others interest before mine is not easy at all.

So here i am, learning a lesson of boosting the morale of others as i have gone through the times of morale keep being stepped by others. Time to give some light to those who have been working in the dark for too long.

wine

2010-06-03T09:41:00.000-07:00

Occasions like this calls for a little wine to null senses- just a lilttle. Random thoughts and sleepless nights recently. Don't usually use my brain to reflect very often so when i does, its just... different? Can actually sense some difference in vibes.

Looking back, there are certain things in my life where i felt it was an 遗憾 (forgive me, i feel that chinese words can always bring up the essence of some things). It is not a regret, nor a blame but just moments where I will sigh and shake my head to it.

Knowing time is not in my hands, but His, i could only obey and do what i am supposed to do at that moment. Choosing between what you want to do and what you ought to do isnt an easy thing at all. Maybe looking back moments when i follow my own desires creating a mess in the end, and now choosing instead what i ought to do caused this v weird feeling call 遗憾 which is very difficult to describe.

This may be a reason why i love sad songs but with a little faster pace. Like the link in my blog- v nice song! Its not dramatically emo nor happy but just a tinge of sadness among the pace of the music. Life still need to moves on but there are some nights like this when i feel like having a little wine and stop thinking and sleep. Well mum will scream at me if i go to my house cabinet and pop a bottle of wine now so i will choose the latter one which is to sleep now(:

The earth won't stop revolving if i am emotional. The sun won't stop rising and setting when i am feeling emotional. I am not going to stop breathing when i am feeling emotional. The world and My physical body is moving on. So entire zhongyun will move on- at least not for tonight, will start to bounce again tml.

weekly rah rah

2010-05-30T19:14:00.000-07:00

Tue.Went out for floorball ktv session at Nelson's house. First, we have a game of Munchkins which the girls gang up and won the guys! After which we showcase our vocal talents with lots of shouting till night time. Went to yew tee for the first time and it is really vv farrr!

The money minded side of me start to embark on a new journey- waitressing on wed night. Should see my boss face when he realise i have no experience at all and the event of the night is a wedding dinner! Felt quite embarassed but somewhat innocent as agency had alr looked through my resume and clearly i have no waitressing experience. So that night, it was very very busy and boss keep telling me off when i stand there for just a sec. At the end of the night, all my toes and especially my big toe is cramping and i have a slightly twisted ankle.

Learnt my lesson well. 30 bucks for 6 hours w/o dinner and keep pushed around for every single second on court shoes is not worth the money and effort.

I am suppose to work as a waitress again on thur night but at a different restaurant. So i cook up a plan to free myself from the horrible experience i had the night before and the plan worked out just nice w/o me having to pay anything though i signed the contract. A sense of liberation REALLY and went out for ladies night with the sisters of DISCUS. Dun misunderstand. we dint went club. we went teo heng! Another karaoke session for me! Really love the song 会有那么一天 by jj lin jun jie. its a very sweet song with a slight pinch of sadness.

Attend a talk on how to find your future partner, in my church. Tang mu shi really gives alot of valuable insights and its totally worth the time and effort to travel down(: Can ask me to share what i learn if anyone is interested to listen!

Anyone heard of the small, bright orange building near a small road behind kallang kfc? well its VHALL, a place for floorball! Discus went there on sat night and playing floorball really made up my day everytime! But have to apologise if anyone spot any bruises on their legs cuz it may be me haha. Went old airport road to have vvv late dinner. Sinply spoilt for choices there plus when you are hungry, everything looks super good!

Cant sleep last night as my heart is really pounding for THE MOMENT and when i sleep at 3am plus i still dreamt of THE MOMENT and when i wake up, its THE MOMENT! Really high on adrenaline now. Hardly you can spot me being so high at 8am plus cuz i am really NOT a morning person. i am happy and jumping with joy because.................. i.did.not.fail.my.math.module!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG OMG! thats the best news of 2010 so far! Not fantastic grade, a C+ but i am really really really v thankful and think this adrenaline rush will last me for one whole week.

Mum is going to subscribe scv because of world cup and it comes with drama channels! YAY! Now i have more reasons not t find work and just stay at home(:

last week

2010-05-24T04:16:00.000-07:00

Been abit busier these few weeks. It all started with me spamming emails sending resumes. Haha.

Work for two days, each day about ten hours last thur and fri at navy open house, managing game stalls. Quite excited as this is my First job that i found myself!!! Just two days are enough to kill all my muscle cells. Woke up with finger cramps, thigh cramps and backaches haha.

Just this morning received another call regrading a waitresses job. Its my another two days job. Thank god for everything he has blessed me with as i am really trying to save up ing this holidays for my overseas trip- don't want my parents to pay for it.

Staying in hall for 9 months plus without any cockroaches attack yet when i shift back home, almost everyday there will be a cockroach making its "appearance". It was really the last straw yest when TWO cockroaches invaded. Have a spuer duper freaky cockroach experience. When i was bathing halfway, i felt something hard moving below my feet. I quickly lifed up my feet only to realise an overturned cockroach uunder my feet!!!!!!! *faints* I was stunned for a moment and remembered what mum taught me. I quickly grab a toilet bowl washing detergent and pour on the digusting cockroach. It struggled very violently and at that instance, i thought it was going to flipped over but instead it stopped moving and died.

Lesson learnt is that dun ever bathe at such a late hour. If i have excess savings i am thinking of paying pest control ppl to check the reason why are there cockroaches coming into my house everyday. Really cant take the scare anymore! ROAR!

uuuppp dates!

2010-05-17T08:01:00.000-07:00

Hmm trying to recall my past week..

Mon, tue: slacking at home

wed: went out with yiran to bugis and suntec then shaw tower for ice cream at tom's palate! Awesome place to have ice cream with exotic flavors at acceptable price! Its like $2.80 for the smallest cup- quite small but just nice to satisfy one's cravings for ice cream, whats more you get to pick two flavors!

Thur: steamboat with sec school friends- clara, peijun, jasmine and hujuan at jasmine house! haha bought wayy too much cheese toufu and spent the rest of the afternoon with few rounds of dai dee( back in school days we used to play at void decks after school eating instant noodles!), mahjong and bridge.

Fri- Sun: Batam! with Discus cell.

Shopping: Quite some time to relax, but really nothing much to shop. First time in Indonesia, not quite used to using the indo currency. Its like playing monopoly where you pay in hundred thousands. Girls ended up buying lots of chips haha. Its relatively cheap there and bearing in mind i may be slacking at home for these few weeks watching drama, chips will be a good companion(: Guys dint buy chips, instead each of them bought back a box of indo mee (recomended).

Food: Eat "zu char" style for most meals, and indo style meal once. Most memorable food i ate i can say is the A'n'W ice cream waffles- quite anti climax here haha. First time drinking avocado juice. Not really a fan for that as i feel it is too think hence makes me feel thirsty quite quickly. Plus it has a grassy smell which i don't like for a drink, including sugar cane.

Accomodation: Stay at a hotel in Nagora call Prima Asia. Its a budget hotel. Not quite used to it at first as for some reason when i entered my room, it has a smoke smell. Plus me and my roommate yiran were greeted by a dead fly on the toilet mat and the next day, below yiran's pillow. When we bathe, the water flow is inconsistent too with different pressures. However, besides all the not-so-fantastic factors, i can say it is worth for the money. Did have good rest in the room for two nights and will recommend it to others if they want to save money. I have been to much worse hotels and this is considered not bad in comparison.

Activities: Slacking most of the time as it is sort of a cell retreat. On the first night, si kai ge gave a "talk" on retreat and i did learn something from it. Early morning next day, we went to a christian primary school to sort of teach chinese and english. The school have four classrooms and just a stall standing alone outside as their canteen. kids there are really contented with waht they have. After class, there will be a children standing in the middle of the classroom in from. clasping his hands, bow his head and lead the class to say a short prayer in eng. No big words used, but it is really heart warming. Also, when we left the class, the kids will come and say goodbye by holding your fingers and place their foreheads on the back of your hands- really sincere and adorable!

Went to attend youth service on sat night at a church which is just a few steps away from our hotel. Its a different kind of feeling there when they sing songs of worship. Its a v high kind of atmosphere which is simply "contagious". Sat night our cell came together for a time of sharing and singing songs. Personally touched by the song because of you at the sentence " because of you the broken have a song". As memories of my broken life in the past flooded back and how i am transformed now its really amazing.

Before leaving batam on sun evening, went to the church again, helping out their sun service- main aim of coming batam actually. Every sun, different groups of people from our church will go and help out the sun service. Turn up rate is quite small. less then twenty. But all who turned up reached the church 15 minutes earlier or more. Really amazed and they are always with smiles which you can feel is from the bottom of their hearts.

And back to today, civilisation again- unemployed but conteneted with what i have. Just found out that my ex neighbour fang min has a new husky!!!!!! Super handsome! Husky, mountain dog and chow chows are my favourites(: Still missing my frens in ke and if fang min, lin hui, jason, terence if you are reading this right now, plan and outing soon! after lin hui is back- quite spoiler went overseas so fast that cannot have gathering after exams :(

holiday week one

2010-05-10T00:40:00.000-07:00

It had been since a week of my 3 months of holiday. Past week has been a lil busy- yay to something that can keep me occupied by operation wildcats. Haha. It is just a "secret code" for the birthday party for very lovely wan ling in our cell DISCUS.

The actual celebration is last sat at scdf sea training centre in pasir ris. Kudos to ben who booked that place! The party started off with a very warm and cute performance by wan ling's cell group: LOL. This group of amazing teengaers performed a song NOBODY, with lyrics edited and customized for the birthday girl. After which followed by dinner warmly prepared by DISCUS. Thankx for the hardwork of dear sisters and brothers: yun zhen and her mum, hui ying, xing zhong, ben and adelina the dinner is so filling and yum!

Whats a 21st birthday celebration without words of love and encouragement? It was after dinner when the older-than-21 people present their very genuine wishes to the birthday girl, and then the birthday girl encouraging teenagers of LOL.

The clock striked 11 and typical discus activity, Wii!,kicked off with only a single controller. Vivien, the savior of the night bought back batteries and this time, number of working controllers increased to four. Wii session reached its climax when it comes to canoeing! Everyone was flexing their arm muscles, lots of shouting and dramatic movements. It was one of the most crazy wii games ever, leaving my shoulders still quite a sore till now- maybe its my own problem.

Back to nothing to do now, still performing my daily routine looking for job openings online. Want to try giving tuition but still holding on some reservations. Went to popular last week to check out the secondary school science syllabus. It was quite frightening, and I know clearly that sec sch science isnt really "my thing". I still prefer bio alone. I feel that tuition is also a commitment. May need to wait till 31st May when my results are out and consider again. I may need to take six modules next sem as my chances of failing MA1505 math for engineers is like 85% so may not be able to commit giving tution next sem:(

Found a new taiwanese drama call PS man. Really like that show and now i am at episode 8- it is difficult for me to even go episode 2 for dramas which i really dislike. So in conclusion, this drama is fantastic enough for me to pgress so far. In this show, the male lead is a celebrity who is also a big firlt. You will find him super irritating at first, but as the story progressed, you will start to understand his behaviour now. His childhood was spent mostly alone and always being accused. As he grow up, everytime when he put in his 100% in a relationship, noting good comes out of it.

This show is quite similar to the show that i really like: bai quan nu wang. These two dramas through different characters potrays that there is always a story in the lives of everyone that cause them to be who they are today. So stop judging others superficially and spend time to understand who they really are deep down.

carefree

2010-05-05T03:24:00.000-07:00

OMG!!!!cant believed what happen 2 nights ago. Just when i was about to sleep, lying on my bed, i saw this mega gigantic cockroach on the wall facing me!!!

Mum was the heroine of that night, and both of us screamed when the cockroach expand its wing and "glide" in the air. In the end it finally end up in the toilet, and here's a trick everyone can learn: toilet bowl washing detergent is FATAL. haha.

Tried Hotel city because i was realy really bored but still don't quite get the logic of decorating the hotel rooms since with or without decoration, each room still cost the same=.-

Created a new email account today! Cuz as i was looking for jobs online, i felt quite embarassed giving them my email address as seriously email with the word "angel" seems quite immature and unreliable haha.

Typical day just revovles around playing computer game and keyboard, still wating for a new dramas to come out! (:

Holiday!

2010-05-02T09:51:00.001-07:00

Its finally holiday! Getting used to doing nothing- psychoing myself, still finding alot of things to do!

Want to get a job but somehow i dun feel like taking up any commitments for the time being. Duno wads wrong with me too..having some after effects from moving out of hall. Even when i wet shopping last fri, everything i saw i can relate it to my frens and how can i prank them or what can i do for them.

If lin hui, terrence, fang ming and jason you all are reading this, i am here not to show off my holiday but really want to encourage you all to "endure!" The word terence use to push us on during the historic 7am run last sem haha.

nua

2010-04-21T09:10:00.000-07:00

Just dun feel like doing anything now. You know the saying goes it takes 13 days to form a habit, i think if mugging its a habit, 13 days is really not enough and the habit can be easily gone in just a sec!

Meet someone in library today. Dint know her but just find her looking very alike to my first best fren whom i have lost touch now. Get in touch with past memories.

Her name is tan seow peng. Knew her since primary one and is in the same class till primary four. Cuz of one mark difference in PSLE results, we are posted to different schools :( Remembered very vividly one day during chinese lesson, she brought her little sooy and put in on her bag. I took out my handkerchief and lay it as a "blanket" on it. Haha. And also after schools, will hang out below her block which has this machine which you put coins into it to buy some cards with HUANG ZHU GE GE characters on it. Come to think of it, was v silly but this is the innocent side of childhood and i missed it.

How many times have you smiled innocently to something or someone deep from your heart? Still kept the birthday card she drew me using crayons for my birthday during primary four. haha stating that i should totally inform her next time when i got married.

Ten years have passed. How has she been? How much have i changed? I really do not want to think or imagine but continue to preserve this precious memory.

loves

2010-04-20T07:39:00.000-07:00

Found a new fave spot in library! Got good scenery from window. spot:

2 helicopters
2 aeroplanes
2 bird feathers! ^^

pics of the week!

2010-04-11T07:33:00.001-07:00

Mon: Latte and tray paper at Food For Thought with yanbing, adelina, wanling and yiran(:

Tue: Prototype for my engine module

Random snapshot of my favourite class photo pri school class 3.7!

Thur: So sweet of Joanne and Xu cong to bring some supper back for me and my neighbour!

Sun: The legendary egg tart that Lin Hui offered just in time to extinguised some of the flame inside me! took a bite before remembering to take a photo as i have a habbit to take a photo of things which people first offered me!

agagrrrrrrrrrrrrr

2010-04-11T07:18:00.000-07:00

Not in a fantastic mood today :(

`woke up with a shock it is close to 2pm and i actually intend to wake up earlier to study

`internet connection at home is down

`the weather dint really help much as hormones level is proportional to temperature

knowing all the above and all the more i should be careful not to explode, i try to chill by playing my keyboard and slowly learn a few bars of I BELIEVE. it takes more time for me to learn since my practical only stops at grade 1 so side reading isnt my ability.

Quite satisfied, along with mum's yummy dishes that i have not tasted for a few months, I went back to hall.

TO MY HORROR WHEN I WENT INTO MY ROOM. I was sweating and baking hot when i realise there are fragments of insects under my bed and big lizzard shit on my bed. Gosh must be murphy law.

Cant the stupid insects and lizzards just spare me for 2 more weeks? Fraustrated, i start to play a puzzle with the dimension of my room and the bed. now my bed is in a super akward position but at least it can decrease my fraustration level by 70%.

Lin Hui then came and offer egg tart and chesnuts- thankx ALOT really bring down my furious level from the heat and insects! Hope tonight will be a peaceful night!

AGGGGRRRR insects if you dare mess with me again, every time i spot you dun wish you have the slightest chance of survival!

hmmmm

2010-04-06T08:49:00.000-07:00

Went through some hiccup today too, well life isnt always very smooth sailing.

Woke up and i know this is the day. Poster presentation! Everything is like a mess and profs are not very happy with the prototype. Alot of thisjust crop up along this fw months and deep in my heart i know this is the music i have to face at the end. Sounds very noob but really almost on the verge of tearing but still standing strong. Will just accept fate if it means i need to take six modules for next sem when results are out.

After this presentation, set off alone to sci canteen, etaing alone and mugging alone. Enjoy my time alone though as i can focus better(: tiredness and mostly laziness sets in and i start to sit back. Then, i saw this cleaning auntie grumbling. A bad day it must be, i thought. Then she came and wipe my table. I say a simple thank you and she start to say to me in chinese" you are welcome. Finals coming huh? Must be very tough studying," and she smiled at me. For a moment, I felt encouraged by her. There is this understanding in her smile that warms me and motivates me to keep puching on.

Went for VCF sunset prayer at engine bridge. First time attending and it was quite an experience(:

Then comes my favourite floorballgame! Yay got a few brusies for me to press! Haha. Today i sense a slight improvement in me as i pushed myself to step up and have some self confidence. But towards the end, i went back to my old self, shying away and defend. Somehow there is this barrier inside me preventing me to be confident that i can receive a pass and give a good pass too. It is very difficult to shake off this low self esteem inside me as pass memories keep flooding back. In the past people used to criticise me when i play ball games and this slowly forms a thought inside me that i cant do it. But IFG is coming up, and this is the first time i a determined in acheveing something especially in the sport which i really like.

Alrites going to conquer mountains of notes! AAAGGGGRRRR! A warrior never gives up and feelings cant dominate or stop me from doing anything! GOGOGO!

today is mon!

2010-04-05T10:33:00.000-07:00

Today is monday! Just have time to really sit down in my room haha.

Went food for thought together with disciple ship group (dg in short). Dine at food for thought near singapore arts museum and the food there was fatastic! Price and proportion may have slight disparity say compare with cafe cartel, but its worth it for its location and ambience.

Had a really good time catching up and opening up to one another- still rmb the sharings we shared for like 3 years plus! Great having same people to share to throughout different stages in life(:

After dinner, the plan is to go for some nice chill dessert place! Awesome but I feel like cinderella, need to rush back to hall by 10pm for a proj meeting. After reaching mrt station, took bus and upon alighting- RUN! really feeling uncomfortable running since i haver ran for quite some time but well i guess it will be be a good warm up for floorball tml(:

Everything is just so wrong. The whole prototype kind of fail and its really ugly. With some creativity, at least we made SOMETHING that is somewhat presentable. Realise i cant afford to get U grade cuz no modular credits will be awarded so i will need to make up by taking 6 modules instead of 5 in some other sems.

Despite the disaster, i somehow get over this anxious and tight up feeling. I really love hall cuz there is this staircase in my block that when i walk up, i can always gaze at the stars in the sky. The stars are slighlty more in numbers today and i will just take a breath and admire it. It really makes me smile despite of what circumstances i am in, for i know life has something deeper and more meaningful than projects and cap and worries and everything i can think of(:

still

2010-04-03T10:24:00.000-07:00

It've been quite a still day for me in terms of everything!

STILL...
not mugging
quite happy despite the above point
contented
daydreaming

Today, for my church saturday's service, the topic was on So what happen in between good friday and easter? I must admit the skit was great. Watching the skit really makes me feel like acting too! Just some history of my acting history:

1) Always in camp when we are suppose to come out with a skit I am always the.. narrator, sit-out audience, or props mover
2) Despite not acting, my jc frens still gave me a trophy on m18th birthday with the title"最爱演辣妈奖” haha

Thank God for really blessing nano cell! Last year there are only two regulars and the year end off with not looking too positive. This year, there are three more regulars: two of which are irregulars of last year and one new comer! It is really a great encouragement given to the cell by my father(:

Yay to floorball advocates in discus too! (:
Last but not least, really really enjoyed dinner with ladies of 5 different age groups in cafe cartel! And lots of love from si hui who drove us there in the rain(:
It is one of the times when i really wind down and not think about anything but just to enjoy the company(:

gloomy night

2010-04-02T08:40:00.000-07:00

Why must it always be at night when major cock ups appear?

Its good friday today. My cell went to bugis mahattan fish market which is a change from KFC in the previous years! Had seafood platter for two and the prawns and sotongs is really really quite a steal! On the way back, everyone seems to be emo-ing, some can see, some is silently emo so as not to affect the rest. At that point in time, i thought i was diff from the rest...

Computer is really evillll. Went to sch website to find out that results for practicals are up and i scored below average. wayyy below and this is my first time this sem scoring below average :(

Next is the engine project fair next tuesday. Took this innovation program with my senior. For demostration purpose, my senior say we need a usb chargeable phone which is Motorola and gave me this important task in finding one by this weekend. It is really like finding a needle in th ocean. I ask him for alternatives and he told me blackberry. I was stunned. BLACKBERRY. hello~ that phone is so expensive! I really dare not ask someone else to lend me a blackberry for my project just in case it lost, and my senior insist it wun be lost. - easily said since he is not the one who is going to ask for one. Can really feel the pressure on me. Everything is just so wrong besides the stupid handphone, but also the prototype. It is really one of the moments when i am closing my eyes(dare not see), take a deeeppp breadth, cross my fingers and really hope everything is ok.

Zhong yun needs to stop dreaming and get going in mugging really. I am easily affected in my studies by emotions. Woke up with a bad dream this morning- is really really real and i do not wish to describe. There goes my day and my thoughts.

3 more weeks. All the time i have left to study. Get real, get back to mug.

April fool!

2010-04-01T09:38:00.000-07:00

April fool! Haha amazingly, this year's april fools day is the most peaceful one in my life so far, guess all my frens are just zombifed after a busy week tsk tsk.

During dinner time, my fren terence never fails to amuse me again! The story goes like this- the chem majors are trying to explain the greenhouse effect from a chemistry point of view. The details i cant remember very well, but it was something along the line that composition of carbon dioxide is diff in the different layers such as the stratosphere. Terence then came in, trying to simplify it to the medicine students saying- the different layers of air is just like diff layers of skin such as epithelium! Good effort in being flexible when explaining to people from diff background!

Went home tonight though a large part of me really want to stay and play floorball): but dint regret though, now sitting on my comfortable chair in my room!

three days

2010-03-31T10:21:00.000-07:00

MY.. just realised it has been THREE days since i last blog! Haha guess this three days is quite peaceful for me(:

Just trying to pick up mugging stamina which i think my memory is failing on me these few days since i took super super longggg to memorise something! Haix. Everything went well except a bomb which dawned upon me on mon which is a project poster i have to submit the next day is in A1 format and i couldnt crack my brain any further to fill up the poster! In the end it is just like playing jigsaw, finding the best space filling combinations- which was really not very fun and entertaining haha.

Totally likes my biochemistry lecture who will crack some really really cold jokes like some sort of " commercial" break in between the lectures. Haha the amazing thing is i can tell the jokes almost word for word to my other frens after class, but dub remember what he taught during lecture- whats wrong with my brain!!!!

Following today is my hall KE night. It was a carnival style and i really enjoyed alot and tough random carnival games, i realise i have some hidden talent in bowling! Haha. Really enjoyed this last few events with my close frens in hall(: My face was like RED all thankx to very wonderful floorball captain joel who never fail to get dirty stuff on my face- this is the second time and both times he caught me surprise. Some expert huh!

Now just hope i can concentrate on my math and update more news on my blog! Haha cuz if i procrastinate in typing down my thoughts, chances are i will forget all the tiny details that will make things more interesting!

warming up

2010-03-28T06:18:00.000-07:00

Ever since slacking from last friday, which is vvvv bad and unhealthy, i finally warm up the lazy cells in me to start doing some work!

Did a poster design for one of my module project fair and realise I am still not too bad in using Photoshop Indesign all thankx to KE press design kelvin and zhuangli who taught me how to use last sem.

Did a drawing for good friday. Basically, my door in hall is like an exhibition of my artwork which expresses myself. This would be my fourth work(:

Allow me to do a lil explanation. The main point of this piece is the nail, which contary to most good friday artworks is the cross. The nail is slightly bent, symbolising the shame Jesus have to went through on the cross. Next up is the tangeled up mesh with words: PRIDE, COMFORT, INTEREST, FAME and POWER. This symbolises the struggles which Jesus went through as he is fully human like us, yet in the end choose death on the cross and thus the earthquake lines in the drawing. Underneath the quake is coloured yellow with the words" love. life". Yellow, just like light is hope and it is because of christ love that we have eternal life.

Followup on last post, my sadness sets in at 2am plus. I really really need a listening ear that time and of all my close frens only Jason is online so chatted awhile. This morning when i woke up, discus cell members start commenting on my facebook. Felt really loved and i know they are the ones who will stand by be through thick and thin. Awww is perhaps the only word if you want me to verbalise my emotions right now ^^

So, back to mugging!

roller coster day

2010-03-27T10:20:00.000-07:00

Today has been quite a roller coaster day of emotions for me.

First, it start off with my church service in the afternoon. Really learnt a lot from sermon today and some of my doubts which i had are answered too. There are many times when helping others, made me felt burdened. Treating others well, yet not recognise. I began to feel like my father in heaven do not take into account my feelings and that my life is just a tool of his, he just did not love me so much which i once believed.

"My God, my god, why have you forsaken me? " Matthew 27:46 Jesus cried out to the lord about the ninth hour of the cruxification. This verse first strike me on good friday last year, and recently too. Jesus, who was without sin, but bear the sins of the world have to go though separation from god at the cross. It is very painful, not just physically, but emotionally too. But does that mean the father no longer love him nor care for him? NO.

I was reminded once again that love is obedience and is God who i can trust. For the wages of sin is death, God save me from eternal death by sending his one and only son to die for my sins on the cross. The most cruel and humilating way to die. I was quite stupid to think that my father is very self centered and now i just want to be in awe with him.

Next up today is... shooting club dinner! Went to bedok botak jones and ordered fish and chip with my favourite side- double baked cheese potato! Of course food is not the MAIN point of gathering, but to celebrate a belated birthday for wen fong. Kudos to him who drove each of us back- yes, despite need-ing to take ferry to tekong early morning tml and by the time he drove us is alr 12am plus (:

My day could have been quite fufiling IF it ends here, but not when i reached home. Upon reaching home, i realised that my dearest neighbour is running for vice president for my hall! - dun misunderstood me here. I am actually carrying mixed feelings here. First is i am totally in the dark that she is gonna to be vice president. Secondly, i am really lost of words to descibe my emotions here.

Besides that, what hit me the most is having to end my day with a passion lost. Yes. Psychoing myself that its ok, i am fine, but my stubborn heart refuse to give in to my brain. You may wonder "wadssup?" I receive an email on the interview results for a cambodia trip organised by my sch first aid society. I am not selected. I am NOT selected. I AM NOT SELECTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It may be- huh? big deal. But its a VERY big deal to me. All along i really want to go overseas for some first aid basis. Though my church also organise mission trips to Cambodia, but it is quite different. It is one of the rare cases when i actually went on to apply and realise my dream. For most of the time i am quite passive in pursuing what i really really want. And POP, goes my heart.

Originally looking very forward to holidays towards the trip, being excited for weeks, whole schedule place aside for it and.. really lost now.. dejected.. empty.. walking zombie without hope. The feeling is really bad. Shall sleep and.. better tml? Maybe. Hopelly ..

People that made my life(:

2010-03-25T22:41:00.000-07:00

Its a photo blog! Enjoy(:

Category 1: family members ad the saying goes families are the buildng blocks of the society(:

Featuring my sis who is cam shy behind!

My adorable niece!

My cousin and I

Dun have any family photos, but that does not mean my family is unimportant to me!

Category 2: Friends before University

Sec school friends! And clara i really appreciate you taking this photo with us!

TPC shooting club!

Not forgetting of course little misses!

Like to mention here all my frens from gonshang primary school, ngee ann secondary concert band and TPJC 07S07!

Category 3: NUS!

CVCF for kickstarting my life in NUS! picture is quite small cuz resolution not very good:(

XQRJ! All the tears and sweat that we went through

K.E floorball

K.E VCF and a bunch of really awesome seniors!

Fantastic group of frens! Always rmb the fun and laughter and tears we went through together though we face different problems(:

Need to mention here xiao long baos and my dearest life science lecture group buddies!

Category 4: Not the end yet! Still have people from all saints church! Been a part of my life since 8 years old(:

Featuring NANO cell! "Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." 1Tim 4:12

DISCUS cell ^^

Last but not least, my best sister MS YIRAN!

Special thankx to all who went through life with me throughout these years!

TA DA!

2010-03-25T09:25:00.000-07:00

Ta da! MY BLOG HAS A NEW SKIN!!!!!!!

Very excited to be starting afresh as this blog has been going some ups and downs. First sight, this skin to me is eeeee so girly! But no choice, it is the only skin that i can successfully load up. Nonetheless, it still looks pretty good with warm colours, and yes, lots of smile.

Looking through past entries, my entries went from happy posts to sad posts, and sometimes i even pondered " when is the time when i lost my smile?" So, i guess this skin comes with a good reminder to perk me up and find back my old self! Plus, i want to bring joy to people who read my blog after a looonnnnggg day!

Looking forward to this saturday as dearest shooting frens and going out to celebrate wen fong's birthday! YES, this time is initiated by ME the one who always pon gatherings. haha and i chose the exact place we went last year for celebration as i am one who likes to cherish the past(: bedok botak jones, get readyy to earn some big bucks!

Finally, i will like to acknowledge lil miss iso who always never fail to make me laugh, most recently just a few minutes ago laugh at me that only food will lure me into the conversation. Haha thats all and i hope i can continue to sustain the activeness of this blog! - it is not very active to begin with anyways =\

i am not ok

2010-03-21T09:12:00.000-07:00

Its ok if i am look down on.
Its ok if people treat my dreams as a joke.
Its ok if my efforts are not recognise.
Its ok if i am being left behind.
Its really ok.

The truth is i am NOT ok.

empty case

2010-03-18T10:40:00.000-07:00

I don't know if this applies to anyone but to me, its just v scary that I do not know where i am heading to. Totally clueless. Hate that feeling, it just fells like i am passing day by day blindly. So if anyone read this and want to help me, please pray for me.

thank you(:

OUTING!

2010-02-18T05:47:00.000-08:00

This is the second outing with my close hall friends! The day started off with me rushing to be on time, scared i will get scolded by terrence, but despite being 10 minutes late i amstill the first one to reach =.-

We walked all the way to Suntec then to Shaw tower and had our lunch at JK Don, a korean-jap eatery. Whike waiting for our food to be served, all of us were cracking our brains to solve a puzzle asked by Jason on x,y pills. Haha he claimed it was quite primary school puzzle but i feel that it involves some IQ! We also found out during lunch that KATSU isactually PORK!

After which comes the main purpose of the day.... ice cream! at tom's pallete. There are many cool and interesting ice cream flavours such as cherry with almond, pistachio, melt and sizzle- popping power inside. After much decision, I chose my favourite two which is- berry(sweet and a lil sour ) and chocolate stout, whereas my dearest neighbour chose chocolate stout and rum and raisins.

After a stroll back to Suntec, i made the most random decision of the month. Which is to go for a movie, which we bought tickets two minutes before showtime without knowing the name and genre of the show. Knowing after that from fang min that it is a fantasy movie, PERCY jACKSON AND LIGHTENING THIEF, i kind of doubted show. Fantasy movies are not really the top of my list. However, i enjoyed the show quite alot as it is about some greek gods and has incorporate some modern action scenes, thus it is not like revolving around the forest throughout the entire show. Never regretted watching the show as it is the FIRST time 5 of us went to watch movies outside hall(:

After the movie, we kind of slack around in esplanade followy a walk around chun dao he pan where we saw many "kids" aka pandas of lin hui since there is really a panda name call lin hui. haha.

I will like to thank all my frens for such a wonderful day out! (:

difficult times

2010-02-16T08:20:00.000-08:00

Going through tough times now. Looking back, I have been neglecting my frens and i really really regretted. Want to thank abert and sean for supporting me in terms of their time, but I am at this very akward stage when saturday is the only time available for all my frens, yet saturday is quite a taboo day for me for it is the day of my week dedicated to my church.

Frens vs church. Nothing is inferior to the other and my heart really aches everytime when I am forced to make a decision between the two. My frens are quite upset with me but i cant put my feelings into words to tell them how much i really cherish them and want to spend my time with them. Its like experiencing heartache over and over without knowing how to explain, yet misunderstood.

silent keeper

2010-02-09T08:00:00.000-08:00

Its 10 Feb now, just a few months before my stay in hall marks a history in my life. It is difficult to part with people who you spend interacting with at odd hours of a day, people who saw your most unglam moments but still laugh with you.

Sometimes when i reflect upon these few months, i felt quite upset. All these while fighting hard with tears and sweat to gain cca points in order to stay again next year, yet all the efforts have to flush down the drain eventually cuz i am financially limited and may need to work to earn next sem. sometimes i felt that life is very unfair and unjust, having to give up something you want alot because you are financially limited.

But on the other hand, it is a buffer time now for me to really cherish every single seconds i have right now with my dear frens and neighbour. I will not blame it on anyone and start to accept what is going to happen as i really want to thak my family for even struggling to support my hall fees this year. And it is really a precious memory. Hope that my new life next sem will see another rainbow and taste another sweet journey^^

lost game

2009-12-26T07:58:00.000-08:00

Felt i am losing everything :( with comittee stuff, i lost time for my family, church and close frens- my fabulous jc classmates and dearest shooting mates.

Part of me want to hold on to friendships in hall but simply time does not allow me. In the end, I will end up alone most of the times. Just feel that i have been numbed by work that when i am alone, i still want to keep working.

Forgot the time when i first start to be alone. Shop alone, mug alone, home alone. Guess i am used to it though time to time still hope and pray that there will be someone there for me.

A new year is awaiting and hope all the events will come to an end. Eventually what awaits is choice. Choice of piroritising which is quite a painful decision as something will have to be let go.

holidays!

2009-12-22T03:44:00.000-08:00

My holidays so far has been: cca, malaysia,sports training

I really enjoyed the malaysia trip as.... it has been 4 yers since i last travelled! There are many many beautiful memories there and things and places we go which most probably I will not go if I am travelling with my parents. Most memorable would be visiting BOH tea garden i cameron highlands which to reach there, we took a small run down bus up and down a very narrow hill road(:

Next will be.... floorball! A sport which i really really enjoyed. Went to play at the full court today and went back with lots of injuries. In spite of that, I am still very motivated to press on!

Holidays are coming to an end and it will be one of my sweetest memory^^

God bless sem 1

2009-11-23T20:59:00.000-08:00

I can see the end coming. Yes. Tomorrow is my last paper for sem 1 in NUS! Sem one is quite a good kick start for me. I still remembering coming in aiming high for cap 5, and keep praying to God that my motivation will be him instead of cap 5. I dint really totally understand what does it mean to study for jesus.

There can be many motivations in study, be it meeting expectations, competitiveness, personal pride... ... One day, my prayer was answered and I still one to thank God for it. It all started out when i fail one of my mid terms. And it is the first result that i got back in my history in NUS. I FAIL! For two days i cried and for a moment wanting to give up.

Looking back, I really want to thank god for the first failure. It is then I start to humble myself and set my attitudes right for studying. It is an endless cycle if i try to meet up with expectations and even when i meet it, I may not be truly happy about it. Speaking of crying, I cried because i am afraid i let my mum down who has spent a bomb in my studies and i am really thankful for this chance as I am not financially well off. Never in my life have i told my mum about my failures as I am fearful of her reaction.

One day, I told her about it. And to my amazement, she told me not to give myself too much stress. I am really shocked and i realise that all along I have been chasing after unnecessary expectations.

Back to right now, good grades are just a bonous to me. Love the lord with all your mind, your heart, your soul and your strength. Loving god and honouring him in what I do means giving in my best. Key is: my best. Four papers have passed and i asked myself have i give my best shot. I know i have and i have the joy in me when i finish the exam though there are quite a few qn I still did not get it and people around me got it. This is the difference. Give god my best shot and leave the rest in his hands and giving thanks in every situation.

And....................................... CANT WAIT FOR TOMORROW TO COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sunny sunday!

2009-11-14T20:01:00.000-08:00

Rise and shineee!!!!!!!!! Its SUNDAY! location: hostel weather: very cold
recently, I have beem having sleepless night. For some reason which i have yet to figured out, my adrenaline levels in midnight is very high. I need to ask myself to sleep and I can spend one hour lying on bed and just cant sleep cuz my brain is overactive :( consequence- morning sleepiness and inconcentration.

After two weeks, I finally remember to bring back my bible! Happy and for now, just hope i can really put in 100% focus when i study cuz its just countdown to SIX days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

indigestion

2009-11-09T22:30:00.000-08:00

Feeling abit of indigestion of information. It all started out on Sun night when my neighbour starts to plan her exam study timetable so i decided to plan mine too. To my horror, I have zillions of things to study so yest is my first day of study plan. Amazingly, this is the first time ever where i can complete my task allocated to the day! But thrilled and indigestion follows. Nontheless, I am super motivated to complete all my task for today and I am taking a short break now.

Feeling hungry but lazy to spend money or to cook. This is my characteristic when i study- i don't eat. So maybe by the end of examinations, you will see a bony stick thin zhong yun haha.

Anyways, my jersy number for sports is 37!!!!!!!!!!!! It has a special meaning to me but i won't say why here.

Tonight, vcf is doing a door- to- door exam prayer. Part of me is fearful of coldness or rejection, but part of me is thrilled because this is my first time! Has been praying for it one week ago and is anticipating for 6 more hours to arrive (:

OK, back to the books! Monopoly here i come!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-11-04T05:04:00.000-08:00

I completed my esssaaayyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^^

last league of sem 1

2009-11-03T16:27:00.000-08:00

Sem one is coming to an end! ^^ the end is visible, but like any other race, the last lapse is definitely not easy to run. It is the time where you have to give every ounce of energy in your cells to complete it.

Well, that is what I am feeling now. While typing this entry, I am actually taking a short break from my mugging as I am starting to doze off. Tomorrow is a big day for me! It is my final test for my Einstein module which i still have 4 chapters of particle physics to go and at the same time, I need to summit my biodiversity essay posted on late mon night by tomorrow.

Feeling very very exhausted now as I can feel myself not making any sense when I talk and physically dragging myself to my humongous textbook to study. Now what I can do is only to pray. It seems quite impossible to complete all that I need to by today :(

But in summary: I am tired. But its ok. I know after tomorrow...... YAY! ^^ Only an hour of lesson on Fri so can chill awhile and continue mugging again! (:

DE stress (:

2009-10-27T06:42:00.000-07:00

I need to study! To my heart: HELLO~ master is speaking. STOP WONDERING AWAY AND SETTLE DOWN TO MUGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!

2009-06-29T00:39:00.000-07:00

Procrastinating is a pretty scary thing. Thinking about it, i wonder how many hours per day is wasted just because we often procrastinated. It is realy difficult not to procrastinate, but i feel that i need to make a change in me if i do not want to waste my time away.

Today, i went for my medical check-up. Everything went out well (: It is pretty awesome how people can get together. Today is not just a medical check-up for me, but also making a new friend! Haha. As blur as always, i went to NUH at first and the staff there thinks i am some sort of alien. After close inspection, to my horror, i realised i should have reported to UHC instead. So while waiting for the free shuttle bus to come, i saw a girl looking at the billboard and holding some form which i also have with me on her hand. So, i went up to her and told her i knew how to go UHC so we went there together. After the check-up, she was going to meet her friend at 12pm so we have like more than an hour plus. We tour the school together and talk to each other. She is on scholarship, studying electrical engneering. Haha so that's how i meet my new friend! ^^

After that, i went back to Tampines and meet iso and tai tai for lunch. (it is really a last minute plan). Then i toured Tampines 1 for my backpack that my sis say she can get me!!!!!!! Realise i should have just trap myself at home as when i am outside, i start spending money and it realy does not help that the fact i stopped working. Iso told me bibi tian did not get her hostel aplication. I was pretty nervous when i heard that beacuse i have not checked mine, nut another thought strucked me that my first choice- King Eward is not very popular so maybe i have a chance.

Went home and wanted to sleep. I switched on my com and found out that i am going to stay in King Edward!!!! Happy. Though i am elated, i did not accept straight away because money is always my major concern. Thats all for so far and i am going off to play viwawa! - so much of wanting to spend my 18yr old time WISELY!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2009-06-21T00:30:00.000-07:00

Its Sunday!!!!!!!!!! hahha and the sun is really BRIGHT today! woke up at 12.30pm and it is not because i woke up by myself, but rather because my mum call my handphone and ask me what i will like to have for lunch =.-

Been lazing around these few days wondering what to do :( But well, i did have fun yesterday night as it is the 07s07( my jc class) BBQ! It sees like we are still in school and gathering back together did not have any akwardness but comfortable =)

No job still but at least looking at next week, at least i have something to do! Haha. it will be childcare on tue and GSS trip with my best fren Yi Ran on thur!

Maybe if you have any suggestions of what drama to watch, can always tag me. Been watching Absolute boyfreind on Chanel U last fri at 11.30am. It is one of the shows that wil make you go AWWWW and i start to think will there be a day when i meet someone like the male lead. Then, a thought struck me. It is my best fren and for those who know who he is will totaly agree with me.

Why search when there is one alr there for you? My best fren will always be there 24/7 when i need comfort and someone to listen to me. There are times when i throw temper at him but he will always be very patient with me and do things that are best for me =) and.... he is always very caring and even know how many strands of hair i have on my head! haha

Today is also quite a special day. It is a day of reminder for me to think before i act. Because of my immaturity, i have hurt someone before in speech and in act. I take this chance to apologise and to thank that person if not of her/him i would not have grown mature. so... hope that the person's days ahead will be filled with joy and laughter! ^^

Well, if there is anyone who read till this part, i am truly touched as i have lost track of my own thoughts! thats all for... SUNDAY! and hope i wil not waste this day away!

O~ Happy Holidays!

2009-06-18T03:34:00.000-07:00

It has been quite a longgg time since i updated my blog and several things have happened since the past few months:

1) My first job in Singtel has ended on 2 June 2009! realy thank God for helping me perservere on for six months being a customer svc officer :)

2) School is starting on 03/08/2009 in Nus faculty of Science and i cant wait!

3) Student camp is just over and thank God that almost every member has reached a step higher in their understanding of Christ ;)

Just like to share something realy cool that is going to happen! Ever since A Level has ended, i have been searching for child care jobs, or anything realted to children. But eventually, i came accross the Singtel job and there goes six months. recently i have been flipping newspapers too but many of them req some training qulifications and most of them req at least 3 months commitment period which i cannot promise since school is starting in two months time.

I thought " Oh well, next time then =(". One night when i attended a course call Discovering God's will in Saint andrew, Si Hui ask me " hey girl you interested to help out at a after school care centre?"

It turns out that one of our church fren who is working there will not be available for some weeks and is finding someone to take over her. I am truly excited and accepted to help immediatedly. Next tue will be my first time reporting there. I do not know what lies ahead, but is definitely exicited. From this i learn that God can be really amazing and beyond what you can imagine!

2009-02-22T00:22:00.000-08:00

You Are a Strawberry
You are friendly, outgoing, and well liked by many people.You are popular, but there's nothing you ordinary or average about you.You a very interesting person, and you have many facets to your personality.Sometimes you feel very conflicted. Your different sides of your personality pull at you.You are a very sensual and passionate person. You are fiery... you can't help it.In general, you keep your passionate side under wraps. You are only wild in private.

haha i did this test and it is quite true (:

zhen xin hua

2009-02-15T06:51:00.000-08:00

This post is dedicated to my very lovely jc clique girls call : vi clique. The title is true colours. below are my deepest zhen xin hua( ten things i realy like about them)
1) Really enjoy the times we crap and have all those very kua zhang imagination (: it really makes me feel relaxed and just not think about any stressful things
2) though we are not some super smart straight A's students, we definitely have A for our efforts!
3) we may be down at times, but we nvr chose to gave up or to hide

dedicated to:
4)iso- ur infectious laughter always cheer me up (:
5)tai tai- feel like laughing here... ok but really appreciate your thoughtfulness and always consistence in taking photos of memories!
6)bbz- always super patient, encouraging and sometimes random
7)bbt- always active and being my "binoculous" for dim sums
8)candy- my advisor in studies and also know alot of things

9& 10) shows the improtance of this point: life would not be the same w/o any one of you! =)

2008-11-23T07:04:00.000-08:00

[b]The Castle Personality Test[/b]

[img]http://www.blogthingsimages.com/thecastlepersonalitytest/castle.png[/img]

You are scared of new experiences. It's hard for you to break outside of your comfort zone.

You like to think that people are impressed by you. You know that you have a lot to offer.

You are a very romantic person. You can't help but see the world as it should be.

Right now, stress occasionally makes you feel trapped in your life. You usually have a clear perspective on things though!

Overall, your life is well managed and fulfilling. You enjoy every day, even if nothing out of the ordinary happens.

You are extremely optimistic about the future. You feel like things are always getting better.

[url=http://www.blogthings.com/thecastlepersonalitytest/]The Castle Personality Test[/url]

2008-11-15T02:40:00.000-08:00

Its 2 days before bio paper 3...i know but really slacking already =P listening to jay chou songs now. Really nice n suits my mood now- a little gloomy. While after A's there are many decisions for me to make and its like byee to my loner life and welcome the social life. Haix quite a tough transition for me esp since i have been studying alone in sch, having lunch alone for like more than a month? Hahaha a part of me just do not want to grow up as growing up means more decision and more responsibility but well, this is just part n parcel of life. Duno why, i will have this inferior feeling inside me that i really cant shake away =( at least there is Something for me to look forward to: majhong with my shooting buddies! Life still goes on so just keep looking forward to things i realy enjoy=)

2008-09-17T05:20:00.000-07:00

yoyoyo! lets play with NuMberS! =)
15 credits
1) most humourous prize- dear iso! =)
2) most active award- bibi tian
3) most caring prize- miss quek jia hui
4) most cheerful award- miss lau!
5) most always lend me straits times award- candy =)
6) most helpful award- eunice teng
7) best talking buddy- clara (durian buddy too!)
8) most tong gan gong ku award- yiran
9) best "sit beside in class" buddy- hui juan
10) best hangging out in house cooking maggie mee award- pei jun
11) most thoughtful award- jasmine
12) most qian bian award- albert lai chung ying aka rainbow
13) most encouraging award- joyce!
14) best childhood buds- suat ting and cindy
15) best kor- shannon chan

8 teachers award
1) bs and dg- yan bing and cui fen jie
2) math- none other than.... wen fong!
3) chem- mr tan ah lek and mun kok =)
4) gp- my tutor and mrs koh
5) pe- mr Samad who always call girls non boys
6) bio- miss liow
7) econs- miss peh
8) everyone cuz i learn sth from everyone whom i met!

6Things that i look forward to:
1) mugging everyday ( psychoing myself)
2) dad coming back from china next wk =)
3) sis birthday!
4) November 3rd- "THE DAY" if you know what i mean
5) cell retreat!
6) majhonging after A's!

4 craizest thoughts
1) Giant ping pong bat hitting people from one country to another
2) Having 4 dogs which can play majhong
3) Being an FBI
4) wondering how Noah's ark can squeeze all animals- hmmm polar bears with hamsters

2 sins i am very guilty of:
1) speaking before i think
2) always fail to clarify things

One last thing to say:
THANKX FOR ENDURING THE WHOLE POST! LOVE YA =) xoxo

name

2008-09-11T05:45:00.001-07:00

Your Biblical Name Is...

Lisette Sheba

You will not live to see the end of times.

What's" Your Biblical Name?

smile

2008-09-02T07:07:00.000-07:00

There are many different types of smile and below are some examples and some i have displayed.
1) ironic smile- when a series of unfortunate events happen
2) plastic smile- usually during phototaking
3) tired smile
4) sincere smile
5) shy smile
6) smile to urself
and last but not least ....
7) smile just to please others
Personally,i really dislike the last smile as i believe in doing everything with your heart, but there bound to be circumstances where if you let ur unhapiness shown, the mood of everyone around you will be negatively affected.
Thats all and please do look out for the next few entries!
xoxo

love blues

2008-09-02T06:57:00.000-07:00

I am having love blues. Don't get me wrong. I am not in love haha hmmmm besides loving Jesus. Hiax but my best fren is. This is the very first time i have the feeling of lonliness as my bestie is in love. Not really a big problem if he is not zhong se qing you. Though i am only 75% sure bout it since he does not admit but i can feel the growing distance between us. Hai till now i am confused of who are my best friends as i will only confide very few people my deepest thoughts and feelings. But what i feel is that as long as my friends are happy, i will be happy for them too=) cheerios xoxo

my term 3 week 3

2008-07-12T21:59:00.000-07:00

Heyyy! haha recently i have been addicted to a Hong Kong drama call Deasth Investigation Extension. Hhaha it is super nice! But i won't encourage it cuz its super addictive. Hmmm ever since after my nationals i m in touch with chocolates everyday =/ Nth really interesting happen just that from tml onwards i will have time to catch up with my sch work so YAY! Last but nt least, i have a new male member in my house! Haha dun get me wrong- my mum din't give birth to a boy but........................................................................................................... welcome HAPPY my new hamster! haha and he is my very first hamster! Not exactly mine actually since my sis bought it. He is super duper cute and only a month old. Thats all!

xoxo

Happy bdae =)

2008-07-04T09:05:00.000-07:00

Happy bade and nationals to me! Sign i feel sooooooooooo old =( btw haha i screwed my Nationals! One set i mean haha =) though i always wanted a trophy, i am more happy that i have a group of frens who really love me dearly =) Esp. the Little Misses who make their way to Yishun to surprise me =) Winning isn't everything, medal cant buy friendship. What most impt is that i really enjoy myself during Nationals and i love my frens loads! Plus those who sms me and i woke up from the vibration near my backside!

However, i am not really that happy because my two good frens are super down. It really hurts and i rather no bdae and everyone will be happy =) Well, at least it is still a great day to start my 18 journey and zhongyun will become a more mature girl!

Birthday is a mark of a brand new year with brand new challenges ahead. AHOY!

xoxo

Heyyy! weekly times =)

2008-06-27T08:44:00.000-07:00

I am back! =) been super busy with home work this week =( Shall give a weekly report:

1) Chem, Math, Gp OVERRRR!
2) Pass my standing broad jump! YAYYYYY!
3) First time eating poypee =))
4) Bought ear plugs for shooting! -i am quite excited about trying it!
5) 3 meals a day become 2 =(
6) HARDLY sleep in any lessons! Commendable!
7) Watch only ONE hour of tv per day!

Hmmmm principle say canteen food prices are up next tue=( maybe i can hint hint mum to raise my allowance =p haha. Thats all!

xoxo

Back!

2008-06-22T03:57:00.000-07:00

Havn't been updating my blog for a long time :p first thing first, my blog has a MEGA facelift! I will like to mention 3 people:

1) Lovely eunice who has volunteered to help me change my blog skin!
2) Shannon kor who has helped me with the adorable text box
3)..........those who have tagged me!

A big thankx to all=)

School starts tml and i have yet to finish all my homework =( Teachers are seriously going to slaughter me! Right now i only have 2 aims for the rest of the day which is less than six hours cause i need to sleep.

my aim: Finish mugging chem test and hopefully 2 chapters of math and complete all gp homework! Wish me luck and Jia you to those who have exams tml! =)

xoxo

zzzzzz

2008-06-18T05:46:00.000-07:00

MY!!!!!!!!!!!! Sch reopen is drawing near! Well there is nothing scary about going back to school except for the tests you will have to sit =( Have a round of Cludeo with my frens today and it realy rocks! Haha. Basically i really cant remember what happen today and i suspect i have stm as my actions in the past one min, i will tend to forget =( Haha. So that all about my simple life and i will try to remember more to type! Happy holidays! =)

xoxo

nationals

2008-06-16T06:56:00.000-07:00

Nationals are nearing and it is giving me creeps! Haha. Today just feel very blah after training and went into a very deep sleep at home =) Thought i could stay at home all day tml until a msg came in- reminder. Alpha course training tml =( ok i know i should have a willing heart but i am just very worn out these few days. Haha helped my sis to take care of her Tamagochi. Today, to my horror, they look super ugly! Haha my mum thought that they look like pigs =o but must admit they do look cute =)
countdown:
1) 7 days to term 3
2) 8 days to my term test
3) about 20 days to nationals!

All these voice down to JIAYOU JIAYOU! More has yet to come! Thats all and i shall go watch tv =p

xoxo

Charlie and the chocolate factory

2008-06-15T06:39:00.000-07:00

As you would have guessed, i have watched charlie and the chocolate factory on channel 5 just now! Quite a meaningful show though it is quite abstract. Haha me and my elder sis really have a good laugh out of it. I have also learned a few things fom this show:

1) The more you forbide someone to do something, the greater the temptation to break away from rules and it will lead to desperation just like poor willy who are forbid to eat candies =(

2) There are more valuable things on earth besides wealth and that is- family. Awwww.

3) How blessed i am to have the previledge to eat candies! I remember reading an article saying a celeb went to a poor country and give the kids sweets. Know what? These kids don't know how to open a sweet wrapper as this is the first time they get to eat sweet =(

Handsome young charlie!

Give us today our daily bread =)

2008-06-14T05:42:00.000-07:00

I felt really blessed today because:
1) i actually manage to save some money this week!
2) After many years, YOU ARE MY ALL IN ALL finally appear in worship!
3) I found out the author of JESUS LOVE ME YES I KNOW. You guys should go and find out too! Simply amazing=)
4) I love my tuition loads and really a miracle to get in =)
5) I am actually STARTING to do my hw...after typing this entry
6) The wound on my knee is 90% healed after a close case of infection. Phew.
7) This is my favourative no so i will just end off with.... i have the breath now, well and alive, to type this blog =)

xoxo

SORRY

2008-06-13T08:39:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the very irritating word sizes as i have standardise yet it turns out WEIRD. =/

Training =( cum thanks giving

2008-06-13T08:30:00.000-07:00

YOOOOO! BACK! Just had quite a scare from training to day finding out that my pistol was shared among FIVE people! AHHHH! It simply translates to longer waiting time you see... And every friday night is my CELL TIME! Haha. It was a very fruitful sharing session and really learn from others sharing too=) At this point in time, i will like to mention MISS YIRAN who is my very close sister who has lent me her prom dress! Phew.... it really saves my time as well as wallet! =) Managed to study A LITTLE bit of chemistry today and vow to be more productive tml! Hmmmm try to see if i can add in some pictures to my blog tml. So do check it out again!

xoxo

A new begining

2008-06-12T08:05:00.000-07:00

Hey! My very first post. Super excited about it and has spent TWO hours, yes TWO hours, on blogskin.com just to find a nice skin. =( sadly to say, the skin cant get on this blog. Duno why.... feel free to tell me if you would like to do me this BIG favour! Anyways, i really like my link as it is very cool! Haha. It is already the third week of school holiday, OMG!, yet i cant feel the sense of urgency =( How i wish i can have the discipline to become a mugger! Hmmm so.... shall not bore you guys on my very first entry and go and do some MUGGING! Tml will be a loonnngggggggg day as my shooting training is at bukit gombak -take green line to JURONG EAST, change two stops via red line, and walk 10 mins to HTNS. YES. super far but i am a poor princess... sobs. So thats one an a half hour for me! For highlights about my day tml, pls do come back and check it out! O ya.... can someone pls help me insert a tagbox too?
xoxo